It happened so gradually that I couldn't see what was right in front of me. He seemed more distant, more irritable, and more checked-out with each passing month. Yet, there were good days, too....at least a few. Always short with the kids and rarely kind to me, I began to slowly back away, emotionally. I began to question our marriage. He wouldn't - or couldn't - talk about anything without becoming defensive. I began to not want to talk to him.
After more than a decade as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I can tell you a few things with certainty:
1) The vast majority of marriages truly can be salvaged (in my opinion).
2) The biggest obstacle that most people face in marriage is their own selfishness, not their partner’s.
I had gotten my hopes up so many times, sure that things would improve. They just had to. I couldn't continue living like we were.
Except, they really didn't improve. Like, at all.
Oh, there was a slight upshot for a few days, but eventually everything just crumbled...again.