When Your Prayer Goes Unanswered, is God Still Good?
There’s an often unspoken question that floats through the air in my counseling office. Unspoken, because it feels too illegal to speak into existence, yet it bubbles and churns underneath all the other words and tears that feel more acceptable to utter out loud.
The question comes in a few different forms, but the heart is the same:
“Does God like me?”
“Is His heart towards me good?”
“Will my healing happen this side of heaven?”
“How long, O Lord, will the suffering linger, don’t you see me?”
They’re questions every honest Christian grapples with. The sovereignty of God and the goodness of God. They often don’t match our human ideas of sovereignty and goodness.
I’ve asked those questions, myself. I’ve shaken my fist at heaven. I’ve cried out in anguish and sullenly sat in quiet anger.
And there are two things I’ve learned that I know for certain:
God works ALL things together for the good of those who love him (Rom. 8:28).
Our definition of “good” is often very different from God’s definition.
In God’s omnipotent wisdom, undying love, and severe mercy, he is always most interested in the healing and shaping of our souls, rather than the granting of our earthly desires. If He knows that the [good and worthy] thing we’re asking for, praying for, believing for will ultimately cause our souls harm, he won’t give us the desires of our hearts. That’s not his priority.
The deepest desire of every regenerate heart is intimacy with God, we just aren’t as deeply in touch with that desire as we are the “felt” desires of life.
If we could see the larger “above the sun” story, as God does, we would understand more clearly. But our vantage point is limited to our smaller “under the sun” stories, and our understanding of holiness and sanctification is clouded. It is HIS work in our lives that grows us. It’s HIS love for us that sustains us. It is HIS constant action on our behalf that carries us through.
But be cautioned in this: you needn’t blame yourself for your prayers being “unanswered.” No lack of “belief” will cause God to withhold. He’s not a transactional God. Certainly he loves our belief and our faith, but we must remember that even those are gifts from him, something we cannot conjure up on our own. You needn’t jump through hoops for God to change your circumstances. Your blessing isn’t dependent on you.
You’re already blessed.
If we could gain even an ounce of deeper understanding of our position as Spirit-indwelled saints, we would begin to see that when we ask, “Will I be healed?” we are asking the wrong question.
The question we must move towards is this: “Is Jesus sufficient?”
Is Jesus sufficient for my ______?
You fill in the blank. What pains your heart these days?
He is sufficient. He’s always telling a better story. Often, in our despair and demandingness, we simply miss the good story he’s weaving.
Ask him to open your eyes, to take your gaze off your smaller story and lift your vision to his larger story. It’s always good, and it’s always good for you.
Because no matter the pain, he works all things together for the good of those who love him. Ask him to show you his definition of “good.”
He’s after our character, the formation of our souls.
And that’s very, very good.